her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
