I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
