Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
