she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
