Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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