I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize
