This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
