HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize