big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
