Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
