who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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