if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
