i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
