Dual....:-)
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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