The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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