threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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