i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize