I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
