Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
