So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
