Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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