Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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