When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
