I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize