Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
