She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Panties = found
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