When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
