5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
