That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
