doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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