eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize