Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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