she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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