Whod you bang
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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