I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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