Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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