One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this beer tastes like vomit already
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
