It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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