Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize