Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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