Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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