Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
