It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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