just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So much rum. So many feels.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
