Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is it penis luge time yet?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
