His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
