Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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