i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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