I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
