oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
