if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
