Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
