omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
