Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
