she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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