if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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