sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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