Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
