my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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