I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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