i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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