Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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