OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize