Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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